Expecting
by The Moon's Heart
Summary: Basically is told through each character's thoughts. Centered around Theresa after she had the procedure.
1. Default Chapter

I didn't want to do it but I had no choice. I was forced into it. If I didn't they would have died and everyone, as usual, would blame me for both of their deaths. This never would have happened if she had just stayed away from my son. I was trying to move on. I swear I was trying to move on. Every thing was changing for me; I even had a new man. I was done with Ethan. I was finally, ready to move on. Yeah, I still loved him. He was a big part of my life but he had proven over and over that he didn't want me. Gwen just couldn't live with the thought that I was finally ready to move on; that I had someone that wanted to move on with me as well. I was going to finally be free of Ethan and Gwen. Why couldn't she just see that? Ethan was hers now. Ethan was her problem now and not mine. It's like she needs me to be a part of her life; I think she may have an obsession with me. Here she is crying and telling her sob story of how I stole her man when I don't even want him anymore. Why is she acting like she's a victim in all this? This is all her doing.

I can't believe I'm sitting here with so much joy in voice  I know it's wrong but I can't help but feel that it's so right as well. I've been praying for this day and finally it's come. I'm going to have my own baby soon. Yeah, I know that Theresa had to have the procedure to kill one of my babies but that doesn't matter now. I'm having a baby girl. My own little girl. I think I'll name her Sandra. Theresa killed my precious little Sara and now she's giving me another girl in place of Sara. This is just too great for words. My own enemy is repaying me by giving me another daughter. I know Theresa is upset that she had to have the procedure done and she's probably feeling emotional pain over the trauma done to her body; but, who cares? As long as I have my baby girl, nothing else matters. Nothing but **my** happiness should matter anyways. Ethan's already made that quite clear.

I can't believe that I actually am sitting here and praying that that baby girl is mine and Gwen's. I can't believe I'm praying for my other child with Theresa to be dead. I love Theresa but I have to stay with Gwen. It's the right thing to do. I've already hurt Gwen too much. My love for Theresa caused her to loose her baby. If I had just stayed away from Theresa, none of this would have happened. If I wasn't so noble, Theresa and I would be married right now. Since, we'll never be together our child has to die. It's the only right decision. I know it is. Trust me. Theresa will thank me some day.

I just hope and pray that my baby made it through the procedure and that Gwen's and Ethan's died. I swear that no matter what, I will be bringing home this baby. Gwen will never get this baby. She killed Sara and blamed me for it, she took my son, and now it's time to repay the favor. I know that I've made mistakes in the past, but at least I've admitted my faults. Gwen on the other hand, kills and kidnaps children and then blames me. She can smile and thank me all she wants but in the end this child will be mine and Gwen will know what it feels like to get slapped in the face.

My poor Gwenie! I warned her about Theresa and did she listen to me? No, she didn't. I'm her mother. I know what's best for her. Theresa is planning on keeping that child. I know she is. There is no way that lying bitch is going to give my Gwenie her child. I know she won't. She tried to steal away her one true love and now she's trying to take her husband and her baby. I swear, I'll kill Theresa if she does anything to ruin Gwen's happiness.

I know that Theresa is my daughter but right now I can't help but feel anger towards. She stole Gwen's eggs and had them implanted in her and then when she thought she wasn't pregnant, she raped Ethan; so that she'd have a baby to give them. What kind of monster have I raised? I know that I've never raised a single one of  my children to behave like this. Theresa is in for a world of hurt if she doesn't give them this child. I can't believe she decided to have that abortion. She should know what she did was wrong. I just pray that her child doesn't survive now.

Theresa is my best friend. We've been best friends since grade school. Every time, she gets an idea into her head I try to stop her. Why can't she be more like me? I'm an upstanding moral person who tries to do everything right and by the book. If Theresa would just try to be like me, she'd be better off with her life. Look at me now, I've got Fox and he's going to be the father of my baby whether he likes it or not. Now I know what you're thinking. You're think what I'm doing is just as bad as what Theresa did to Ethan but it's not. Theresa got what she deserved because she's not pure and righteous like me. I on the other hand, got screwed over by my mother and am therefore justified in all of my actions.

Soon, everyone would know the outcome of the procedure.

I decided to do it this way for the fact that I wanted to write how I feel the character's act in their own mind.

I know I might have gotten a little out of hand with Whitney!


	2. My Mistakes

I know I've messed up but that isn't the point anymore. Mamma thinks that I'm a horrible rotten person for not giving this baby to Gwen. How am I horrible for doing that? Did I cause Gwen to fall and loose her baby? Did I drag her ass out of that hospital? Everyone is willing to overlook everything she has done but are never willing to look at what she has done. She killed Sara. She took her child's life and she knows she did. Mamma knows it, Whitney knows it, Chad knows it, Fox knows it, and deep down so does Ethan. Denying this fact isn't going to make the truth go away. How can Ethan want to stay with woman that killed his own child? People say I have no morals, but I'm beginning to think that Ethan is farther away from the moral road than me. Maybe even farther than Gwen.

You know if I hadn't just found outthat my husband left me for another woman, I'd be in Theresa's room belittling her and trying to make her see the real truth. Ethan doesn't love her and has told her millions of times. He loves Gwen and wants a family with her. He and Gwen deserve a child after all the heartache Theresa has put them threw. Poor Gwen did not deserve to loose Sara. I can't help but feel sick that my daughter caused that pain for Gwen. Ethan chose to marry Gwen and Theresa's is just going to have to except that fact. Her talks of fate drive me crazy. Fate has never been on her side. Tell me, where was fate when Julian took advantage of her? Or, how about the time that she was sent to jail for his death? How about the time that it was revealed that she ruined Ethan by telling the tabloid who is real parents were? Where was fate when she lost the Crane Empire? Where was fate when we lost our home, jobs, and way of life? Tell, where was fate then? Fate has never been on Theresa's side. It's time that she faced that fact.

You know as time passes by I feel more ashamed that I'm Theresa's best friend. The other day Theresa told me she needed the support of her best friend and I told her to find a new one and I meant it. Why should I be her best friend when she's screwing with people lives? Why can't she just live by my morals? It's not real hard. As soon as someone does something that you don't like you just ignore them and move on. Slapping them across the face works as well! My mother deserved to be slapped. She wasn't pure or perfect like me. If you're not like me, then something is obviously wrong with you. I'm so virtuous and moral that I set an example for everyone. I'm not a hypocrite or a bad person. I'm one of Harmony's finest citizens.

You know tonight after talking to Theresa and begging her to let Gwen have her child, she still refused. Why doesn't she get this through her head? She and I will never be together again. I have hurt Gwen enough and will never do it again. Rebecca is wrong. Gwen is my life now and not Theresa. I don't even think about her anymore. Even though I keep saying her name that doesn't mean anything. It just means I know how to say her name! Theresa and I were the past and Gwen and her baby are my future. I won't let Theresa take this baby from Gwen. I won't let her take another baby from her. She has already done enough to Gwen. She doesn't deserve this. I owe Gwen a lot. She was there for me when Theresa was found for out for taking the Crane empire from me. She was there when it was revealed that she had gotten pregnant by Julian. She has always been there for me. She has never done anything to ruin our relationship or our friendship; I'll never leave her for that.

What Theresa is doing for me will help me keep Ethan for good. I knew that Ethan only married me because I was pregnant but I like to pretend otherwise. It let's me play the victim more efficiently. I've gotten so good at playing the victim that I actually forget I'm pretending. It's so funny how one can do that. My mother says that Theresa is going to take away this child from me but I just don't believe that. I know Theresa has done some horrible things to me like killing Sara and stealing Ethan but that is all in the past now. Theresa can not hurt me anymore.

How am I going to tell that ungrateful daughter of mine that her father is back with some whore. That Mrs.Wheeler is that whore and that Mr. Wheeler is her father. Maybe by telling her she will go into early labor and loose the baby. Then she won't have any baby to bargain with and all can go back to normal. My daughter will never again be able to hurt poor Gwen . Theresa will learn the hard way that Gwen and Rebecca are just too tough for her to fight and will then give up and let them raise lil Ethan. Of course, I will curse them to hell because that's what I do best. Sit back, berade my children for standing up for themselves, abandoned my children, and then justify our burdens by yelling at our enemy.

You know I'm so sick of mamma. One minute she's throwing Rebecca in a grave and the next she's yelling at me for exacting revenge on my enemies. Where is any of this right or fair to me? I'm so sick of having to fit into her mold of what is right and what is wrong. The same goes for Whitney. I wish that for once, Whitney would be in a situation where she had no choice but to do what was right for herself and for a loved one. Maybe that day will come when she gets pregnant. I just wish for once she'd knew what it feels like to be backed up into a corner.


	3. SaraII

Oh my gosh! My baby girl was born last night! I'm just so happy I could cry but I won't. Now I have child to keep Ethan hooked to me forever. The child I needed to cement my marriage has been born. This is such a glorious day. My baby girl is so beautiful. I think I will call her Sara II in honor of my first daughter that Theresa killed. I'm just so grateful for what Theresa has done that I think I will give her back Ethan Martin. I can't believe that it only took her father's name to get my baby out of her stomach. For a moment, it looked like Theresa was going to die but that's alright. As long as I get my baby, I don't care what happens to her. Now the next step is to get my baby home and kick Theresa and Pilar out for good.

My gosh my daughter has been born. She is so beautiful but a doctor just came in here and took her away to the NICU. Once Gwen saw them rush away with her, the look of horror shown on her face. I hope everything will be alright with the baby. I just want Gwen to finally be able to have a baby of her own. She's been wanting this for years and now she is close to finally getting it. I know that Theresa wants this baby so badly because she thinks it's hers; but I won't let her take it from Gwen. Even if it's hers, I won't do that to Gwen. Theresa has to give this baby up to stop Gwen's pain once and for all.

I finally gave birth to my girl and they took her from me. They said she was in critical condition. Gwen is hugging Ethan and telling him that all they had to do was have faith and they'd get through this. Now she's coming over here and hugging me. Oh boy! I think I'm going to puke. Why must she touch me? That baby is mine and not Gwen's I can feel it in my heart and soul. She's my precious baby girl. Mine and Ethan's girl. Gwen will not be sitting in NICU with her. That baby needs her mother to be their for her to comfort her. She needs her mother to tell her everything is going to be alright. I think I'm going to call her Lily. Yes, that's what I'll call her. Lily Victoria Lopez-Fitzgerald that will be her name. Oh I know mama will love that name; she just has to. After all, she's going to be a grandmother.

Oh my baby was down in the NICU! She is just so tiny. There she is Sara II fighting for her life. I don't want my husband to know I'm calling her Sara II; I don't want him to think that I am crazy. Even though I know I'm not ;I still don't want to be misleading. Oh this is going to be so great. I have daughter again. Now it will be like I never killed Sara...I mean it'll be like Theresa never killed Sara. She'll be here with us forever. Like she should be. Now my wonderful marriage to Ethan will be more secure than ever. I'm not saying that it's already strong; I'm just saying it'll be more stronger.

Gwen's baby is the NICU. All I want to do is give her the baby that will keep us together forever. That's why I'm hoping Theresa will just hand over this child and let things be as they are. She can take little Ethan back and forget that she ever slept with me and possibly had a child with me. It'll all be alright if she just listens to me and does just that. I know she will listen to me because she holds me up on a pedestal. So she'll listen to me.

So the doctor said that only the birthmother can see the baby and since I'm her mother, I'm going in. So I was getting ready to go in when Theresa came up to me and ripped the gown off of me. She told me to stay the hell away from her baby. What has gotten into her? That's my baby in there not Theresa's. I just looked at her and asked her if she were nuts. I told her that that was my little girl in there not hers. She was just my surrogate but she shook her head no. So now I'm going to get a doctor to sedate her. That way she doesn't cause a scene in front of the room my baby's in. Theresa just told me that she's going into the NICU to sit with her baby. I turned to Ethan and I told him to remind her about the court papers and how she gave up all rights to my baby but Ethan told me that he didn't file the papers yet. So I did the only thing that I could possibly do at the time. I strangled that bitch. How dare she thinks she could take Sara II away from me. All the anger in side of me begins to build up as I continue to press on her warm throat. I can hear her gag but I keep pressing. Finally a doctor gets here with a sedative for Theresa but instead of giving it to her. They stick me with the needle. I'm beginning to feel really sleep and my hold on Theresa begins to weaken. She breaks free from me and I'm falling on the ground. Why is this happening to me? I've done nothing wrong. I'm the victim here not Theresa.


	4. The Pact

I woke up to see that Ivy and my mother were making a pact against Theresa. I put my hand on top of theirs. I wanted to ensure that Theresa stayed away from my husband, my baby, and me. There was no way she was going to take my baby girl when she had just killed my precious Sara and my little boy. It's all her fault that I don't have all three of my children. Two of my babies have died because of her. My precious baby boy. You were going to be Ethan's first son. He was going to be so proud of me. I was going to give him a son to carry on his name. My little Nathan! I'll always mourn your death and remember how Theresa had you killed. My precious Sara! I know you are in Heaven watching down on your father and I. I know that you can see the love we have for both of you. Please take care of your brother up there. Don't worry my darlings. I won't let Theresa destroy my time with your other sister Ashley. I'm so sorry that you had to be killed for Theresa's wrongdoings. She will pay. She will burn in hell for killing you.

Yes! My baby girl has finally seen the light. I know I've always had to push her into wanting to help me but at least this time it's different. Gwen has always been the one that wants to make her enemies pay but is too afraid to do so. That's why I've always had to push her. Except this time, she has joined our little pact all on her own. Now nothing will stop Ivy, Gwen and me from destroying that little twit once and for all. Theresa has messed with Gwen for the last time. She took Sara, her son, and now she's trying to steal her daughter . There is no way in hell I will allow that piece of trash to raise my granddaughter. No, this time Theresa has definitely gone too far.

I can't believe that my son actually fell for Theresa. Who could love someone that has constantly tried to take your family away from you? She's killed his children and yet he still wants her. He still thinks about her and yes, he still loves her. This isn't fair to Gwen. She wasn't the one that got pregnant by Julian Crane. She didn't destroy his chance to become ruler of the Crane throne. Gwen's not like that. She is a good, pure, honest woman. She wouldn't hurt anyone the way Theresa has constantly hurt Ethan. If you ask me, that isn't true love. Theresa isn't in love with my son. She's just obsessed with him. Why can't he just love Gwen and only Gwen?

You know as mad as Theresa has made me in the past, I still love her. I love Gwen as well but it's just not the same kind of love. I remember when I first met Theresa. I thought she was the one that was stalking me but it turned out to be in my head. To me, Gwen is more of a friend. I care about her deeply. I want her to be happy and I want her to have a good life. She deserves that. She doesn't deserve to be treated so wrongly by me or Theresa. I wish Gwen had moved on. I wish she had found someone when I had dumped her the first time. Instead, I used her as a scapegoat. She was just a way to forget about Theresa. She was like a safety net for me. You know, someone that would always be there for me. She wasn't someone I was madly in love with. I loved her just not in the way that she wanted me to. I know that Theresa is the love of my love but Gwen is the one that I married. I know it's wrong to stay with someone out of guilt but the truth is I can't leave her side. Theresa and I might have a daughter together but that's all we'll ever share. Gwen is the one I want to be with because I owe it to her. I also owe her that little girl in there. I don't care if it is Theresa's baby with me. Theresa already has a son. She can take care of him. As soon as I give this baby to Gwen, Theresa will have little Ethan back. Then we'll all finally get what we want.

I hate Gwen but I know how she feels. I know how she feels because she took my son from me. You know when we came back from LA, all I wanted to do was be with my son and get on with my life. I was dating Fox and things were going great. Gwen couldn't take it so she took him from me. She forced him to call her mommy. She laughed in my face about it. She thought she was so smug, so much better than me. Look at what she's done. Is she any better off than she was before? She has lost not only a daughter but a son as well. Her son could have lived if she had just left me alone. I know that this little girl is my baby. I can feel it in my heart. All I want is my daughter and my son. I want Ethan to finally see that I am his family. Not Gwen. Gwen had to have it her way and look at how it turned out.

I got out of that hospital bed as quickly as I could. I need to be with my baby girl. When I got to NICU, I saw Ethan and his father standing there. I asked him if he finally got the court order against that bitch. He said no. I almost freaked out. What could possibly keep him from going to the courthouse. He should be worried about me and the baby. Not Theresa. There she is with my Ashley. She's in there stroking her head and talking to her softly. I should be doing that. I should be in there stroking her head and singing to her. She's my baby not Theresa's. She came from my egg. Just because Theresa carried her for a few months doesn't give her a right to my baby.


	5. Court Orders and Woody

I can't believe that this could be Ethan and Theresa's baby and not his and Gwen's. My son is in such a mess. He's so worried that Theresa is going to say something about this baby not being Gwen's. I know how much Theresa loves Ethan but if she does this it could be the end of her life. Gwen's standing here looking like she's going to kill Theresa just for being near her child. I can only imagine what she'll do if this baby turns out to not be hers. I just pray to God that Ethan can talk Theresa out of trying to take this baby away from Gwen.

Oh look at my little girl! She has tiny brown hair and the most perfect tiny brown eyes. How can anyone think that this baby could possibly be Gwen's? She looks nothing like her. This baby is too beautiful to be Gwen's baby! Just a few minutes ago, I turned around to see Ethan and Gwen arguing. It must be about how he didn't get the court order to take the baby away from me. Ethan is such an idiot for not getting that order. Sometimes I wonder if he's really a lawyer. Did he actually think I would just let him take my baby and raise her with Gwen? I've done everything for my children. Gwen took my son so I took her embryo. Everyone has berated me on how horrible I was to Gwen yet I don't give a damn. I know mama would move Heaven and Earth to be with her kids. She'd never let someone like Gwen or Rebecca take her children away from her. So why does she get so nasty at me for wanting to be with my kids? Why is it so hard for her to see what they did? She's always bringing me down.

Look at that tramp! She's in there with my Ashley! What is taking Ethan so long in getting that court order? How come he couldn't be smart enough to get that court ordered a long time ago? Calm down Gwen! Don't get yourself worked up over the housekeeper's daughter. Ethan will be here soon with the order that'll make me the mother. Theresa will be thrown out of the N.I.C.U and I'll be able to go in there and be with my daughter. I hope she doesn't cry when I come in there. I bet Theresa's in there poisoning her mind against me. I bet she's in there telling that little girl about what happened to Sara and Nathan. I bet she's telling my little girl that I killed my babies. Don't worry Ashley; when I get in there, I'm going to tell you the truth about what really happened. Oh damn you Ethan! What's taking you so long?!

I can't believe how long it's taking to get to the courthouse. When I finally got there, Woody was there waiting for me. He asked me how I was doing and I told him just fine. I told him about my problems with Theresa. I told him how she was being difficult in letting Gwen have her child. So I came down to get the court order that would strip her of her rights to our child. Woody nodded his head and walked off. I never found out what he wanted from me. I bet it has to do with getting little Ethan back to Theresa. As soon as I give Gwen this baby girl, Theresa will have her little boy back.

Man I don't see what Theresa sees in that jerk! He's thinks he's so smug. Gwen will never get that little girl because that court order states that Theresa only gives up her rights if that child is biologically Gwen's and Ethan's. If it's not, Theresa will get to keep her little girl all because of my fine lawyer skills!

There's Ethan! He's waving the court ordered. Oh I can't wait I'm going to have my little girl now. I told Ethan I was going to go in there and pull that dirty whore away from my little precious innocent baby. Ethan stopped me as I was going in to get that little bitch. He told me that it would be best if he went in there and told her what was going on instead of making a scene about it. Why does he have to protect her so much? It should be me he's worried about not her. It's not fair. Theresa always gets his attention while I take second place. As long as I get my baby girl back it doesn't matter.

Ethan came in to see me and the baby. He looks so concerned for us. I knew that he cared more about me than about Gwen. He came in here to tell me that he wants to marry me and divorce Gwen. I knew he would come to his senses. It's about time.

Theresa looked so happy with the baby. I'm so sorry I had to do this to her but that's Gwen's baby in there. She wants it. She should have it. What Theresa and I have done to her isn't fair. She deserves to be happy for once. After all the times she's been there for me, it's time I were there for her. Theresa began to talk about the baby but I stopped her. I handed her the papers. I told her to walk out quietly with me. We could talk about this outside of the N.I.C.U. Her eyes were lit up with fiery at me. She walked outside of the NICU and asked me what this was about. Before I could answer her, Gwen had her gown torn off and was taunting her. She told her that she would never be allowed near either of her children now. Theresa reminded Gwen about how she promised to give her son back if she promised to give her, her baby. Gwen laughed at her and told her she'd never see her son again. Gwen began to push her way past Theresa but Woody came in and stopped her.

Woody is standing in my way of my baby. What is going on? Is this another ploy by Theresa to try and keep that baby girl away from me? It won't work this time because we have a court ordered against Theresa. She can't touch my baby now. She's all mine. I'm going in there to see her now. Again Woody stops me. He tells me that I can't go near that baby. I ask him what the hell is going on? Why can't I go near my baby? He tells me that I can go in there with her only if I were the biological mother. What's that suppose to mean? I am the biological mother of that child. Doesn't anyone get it? Theresa only carried that child it has my DNA. I looked over to Theresa to see that she was grinning. What is that skanky bitch up to?


End file.
